Thursday, 21 December 2017

Winter 2017/2018 horoscopes.

Winter horoscopes here. With the only info anyone gives a fuck about at this time of year.

Capricorn
22nd December - 20th January
You will get no birthday present.
Because your birthday is too close to Christmas.
Sorry.

Aquarius
21st January - 18th February
You will get a new pencil.

Pisces
19th February - 20th March
You will get a lump of coal.
Shaped like Alan Rickman's head.
Cherish it.

Aries
21st March - 20th April
An apple and a Satsuma.
Can't say fairer than that.

Taurus
21st April - 21st May
You will get an inflatable sheep.
Pre-owned.

Gemini
22nd May - 21st June
You will get a new horse.

Cancer
22nd June - 22nd July
You will get two new horses.
And a donkey.

Leo
23rd July - 23rd August
You won't get anything.
'Cos you're an asshole.

Virgo
24th August - 22nd September
New speedboat headed your way!

Libra
23rd September - 23rd October
You will get the gift of invisibility.

Scorpio
24th October - 22nd November
You will get a hard spanking.

Sagittarius
23rd November - 21st December
Your birthday is also kind of close to Christmas.
So you'll likely get no birthday present either.
Sorry.

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

GET THE JUICE.

The passage of time is now measured by Chromeo album releases.

I cannot wait.


Loving the legs. Hope they are a recurring theme. Please make it so.

Friday, 22 September 2017

Autumn 2017 horoscopes.

Here are your stars for this season, you unique beings.

Libra
23rd September - 23rd October
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Scorpio
24th October - 22nd November
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Sagittarius
23rd November - 21st December
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Capricorn
22nd December - 20th January
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Aquarius
21st January - 18th February
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Pisces
19th February - 20th March
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Aries
21st March - 20th April
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Taurus
21st April - 21st May
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Gemini
22nd May - 21st June
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Cancer
22nd June - 22nd July
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Leo
23rd July - 23rd August
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Virgo
24th August - 22nd September
Something mundane that
could be interpreted in several
ways will happen to you this season.
Your stars are always bang on.

Saturday, 2 September 2017

More please.

Just had a three season marathon of Better Call Saul.

I'm late once more to the party.


I like it more than Breaking Bad. *

Is that OK?


I like these promos.


* I fucking loved Breaking Bad.