Prepare yourself for summer. Read your stars.
Cancer
22nd June - 22nd July
Ensure that you have bought
22nd June - 22nd July
Ensure that you have bought
enough compost for the job.
Leo
23rd July - 23rd August
You can't win the pony raffle
23rd July - 23rd August
You can't win the pony raffle
if you don't buy a ticket.
Virgo
24th August - 22nd September
24th August - 22nd September
Dance like nobody is watching
and you're on fire.
Libra
23rd September - 23rd October
Do you smell something weird?
23rd September - 23rd October
Do you smell something weird?
It is you.
Scorpio
24th October - 22nd November
Get your flans out and
24th October - 22nd November
Get your flans out and
take them to the county fair.
Sagittarius
23rd November - 21st December
Give each of your fingers a name.
23rd November - 21st December
Give each of your fingers a name.
Capricorn
22nd December - 20th January
Get yourself one of Dr. Amp's
22nd December - 20th January
Get yourself one of Dr. Amp's
gold shit-digging shovels.
Aquarius
21st January - 18th February
If you wish hard enough it will happen.
21st January - 18th February
If you wish hard enough it will happen.
If it doesn't it's probably because
you didn't wish hard enough.
you didn't wish hard enough.
Pisces
19th February - 20th March
Lemsip will help.
19th February - 20th March
Lemsip will help.
Aries
21st March - 20th April
Watch some Saved by the Bell
21st March - 20th April
Watch some Saved by the Bell
on YouTube.
Taurus
21st April - 21st May
Rub maple syrup on it.
21st April - 21st May
Rub maple syrup on it.
Gemini
22nd May - 21st June
There is a ghost in your shed.
22nd May - 21st June
There is a ghost in your shed.
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